A Life Worth Living
by ZhenLe
Summary: A slip of the tongue, no control over his words, and Haru finds himself in a world without Makoto. But the Tachibanas suddenly have an urgent family issue to attend to, leaving Makoto in Haru's care. Haru isn't going to waste this chance.


**_For the MakoHaru Festival on tumblr!~_**

* * *

"Here, Haru," Makoto took out a notebook from his bag, "Today's math notes."

"Wow, Mako-chan you really look after Haru-chan well!" Nagisa gleamed at them, a cheeky look on his face.

"Aha no, it's nothing."

"Ne, ne Haru-chan. What do you think of Mako-chan doing all this for you? Isn't it g-"

"It's annoying."

As soon as it was out of his mouth, Haru wished he could take it all back. _Crap._

"O-oh, sorry I didn't realise Haru-chan!"

Haru turned to look at Makoto, who was smiling sheepishly down at his bento. He recovered too soon, and the pain he was hiding behind that smile was too obvious.

_I am such an idiot._

Nagisa retreated to his spot next to Rei, who also seemed very interested in his lunch. Makoto continued to eat, avoiding all eye contact with Haru.

Lunch on the rooftop had never been this quiet before.

Swim practice had been over for a long time, yet Makoto was nowhere to be seen. Haru floated around aimlessly, wondering when that large warm hand would appear to pull him out.

And then, it hit Haru faster than a speeding bullet.

_I am an idiot._

Getting out of the pool without any support was a little bit of a pain, but Haru got out eventually and walked over to the changing room.

A single blue towel lay there on the bench, evidence enough that Makoto had been here moments before. Haru sighed, a little frustrated with the whole situation.

The walk home was unpleasantly silent. There was no Makoto, no aimless chatter, no warm presence by his side. Nothing.

Haru had never felt so empty, but the feeling wasn't strong enough to send him running to Makoto to apologise. It hurt, and it hurt terribly. But Haru clenched his fists and walked straight up the stairs to his own abode.

_This will be over by tomorrow._

He had a restless sleep that night.

**X-X-X-X-X**

No matter how much loved sitting in his tub and being submerged in the soothing water, his morning soak had taken _way_ toolong for his liking. Where was Makoto?

Why was there no hand present to pull him out?

Sighing to himself, Haru helped himself out of the tub wiped himself dry. Then, glancing at the clock, his eyes widen in shock.

_8:05._

Haru rushed to his room in panic.

_I'm late for school._

Everyone had given Makoto weird stares when he came into the classroom without Haru. It was just so unbelievable that Haru wasn't there with him, by his side.

Haru had _always_ been there.

And when Haru appeared in the doorway, late, the stares increased in number.

Blue eyes trailed over to familiar chestnut hair, but Makoto was studying his textbook like there was no tomorrow. Turning away, Haru took a seat and decided that it was time he took responsibility for himself. For once, he tried to pay attention in class.

_I can't depend on Makoto forever._

He couldn't stop thinking about Makoto.

Haru didn't have a bento with him, and surprisingly enough, Makoto only had one today. Neither of them made any attempt to ask or offer the food, so Haru sat in silence while Makoto ate (very, very slowly).

Nagisa and Rei weren't there as they were having a last-minute meeting, so silence echoed loudly across the rooftop. Haru didn't make a move to apologise, Makoto didn't even try to make small-talk.

This had never happened before. Neither of them had gone a day without each other. And the fact that it actually _hurt_ just made it worse.

But Haru wasn't sure what to do. Or rather, he didn't know what to do. He wanted to try to be independent for once, to make sure that he could actually live without having Makoto constantly by his side.

It wasn't working. And he was hungry.

Later that evening, Haru paced around on the floor of his living room instead of soaking in the tub. This was getting too problematic for his own good, and he needed so solve it at once. Any resolve to try to be independent from Makoto had crumbled away into dust, though it had only been one day. Haru had to swallow his pride and admit to himself. He had gone way too long without Makoto for his own good.

_I can't survive like this._

Just before he was about to explode with angry frustration (at himself), the doorbell rang.

Haru ran to receive it, half expecting Makoto. Instead, he came face to face with Mrs Tachibana.

"Konbanwa, Haru-kun!"

"A-ah, konbanwa…" Haru tried to hide his disappointment by turning away.

"Ne, Haru-kun, I have a favour to ask of you. Would you be so kind as to listen?"

As a reply, Haru turned back to face Mrs Tachibana. He was a little curious to hear what she had to say.

"Actually, we're going on a short trip to Kyoto in two days because of some family issues. We're taking Ran and Ren, but Makoto isn't able to go since he's in high school. I know the workload is getting bigger by the day, right Haru-kun?"

Haru narrowed his eyes. _Makoto didn't tell me anything._

"Anyway, what I wanted to ask you is…um…Do you mind taking care of Makoto while we're gone?"

"E-eh?"

"I-I mean, Makoto's all grown-up now but I don't really want him to be home alone. Also," she dropped her voice to a whisper, "He has a tendency to set things on fire in the kitchen."

Haru tried to cough back a smile at the thought of _Makoto _cooking. That wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

"But I understand if you're busy. We're gone for a few days after all. You don't have to –"

"I don't mind."

Mrs Tachibana's face lit up, any trace of anxiety (which had been hardly visible) disappeared in a fragment of a second.

"Really Haru-kun? Is it really alright with you?"

"Of course. I mean, uh…"

Haru looked to the side, a little embarrassed.

"You've always taken care of me."

That night, Haru could barely contain his excitement at the prospect of Makoto coming over. This issue could finally be resolved. Finally. His chance had come.

_I can't mess it up. I can't._

**X-X-X-X-X**

Makoto stood in front of Haru's door, luggage by his side. He had just seen his family off, and now it was time to face the person he would be staying with.

The person who was his childhood friend. The one and only friend who had stuck with him his entire life.

The one who found him annoying too.

Makoto swallowed, a wave of pain washing over his chest.

_I can't cause too much trouble for Haru._

Before Makoto could lift a hand to ring the doorbell, the door opened and Haru stood there, in the doorway, looking at him expectantly.

"C-come in."

Haru's heart hammered in his chest, as if trying to escape his ribcage. He couldn't help it – he was a little nervous after all.

Taking one of Makoto's bags in his hands, Haru lead the way in. Makoto followed, dumbfounded.

Haru's home was warm and smelled of chlorine and mackerel. Just like Haru.

Makoto was hit by a wave of nostalgia at how often he used to come here, how many nights he had spent here, passing the time with Haru. He smiled bitterly, a dull ache still in his chest.

Dinner was awkward, much to the disdain of the now distanced pair. Haru started to doubt whether he truly could make amendments with Makoto, to repair their broken relationship. Makoto couldn't stop feeling sad.

Neither of them made a move, neither of them tried to start a conversation. They sat at the dinner table, still and silent. Haru was starting to get irritated with himself.

_Why can't I fix this already?_ He gripped the seat of his chair and tried to break the heavy atmosphere.

"D-do you want…" Haru trailed off, throat dry and hands trembling.

Makoto looked up, and as an instinctive reaction Haru turned his face away. It was only after the deed was done that Haru realised how much that must've hurt Makoto, who had resumed staring into his lap.

_Crap. I failed._

"I'll wash the dishes," Makoto whispered as he got out of his seat, clearing away the empty plates.

"I-I'll help."

_What am I saying?!_ Haru glanced at Makoto's sullen face. _I shouldn't make Makoto do all this work._

Eye contact was avoided. The accidental brushing of hands sent jolts of electricity down their arms, repelling each other. Haru gritted his teeth in frustration but continued his work quietly. He would fix this. Soon.

The boys trudged up the stairs to Haru's bedroom. Still not on good terms, it had silently been decided that sleeping would be the best thing to do despite it still being early.

"I-I'll go get the futon."

Makoto was about to walk out of the bedroom when Haru grabbed his sleeve.

"W-wait."

The sleeve was immediately let go of when Makoto turned around questioningly. Haru took a deep breath.

"We can s-share the bed."

Haru had never taken a faster bath in his entire life. He was elated that Makoto had, somewhat grudgingly, agreed to share the bed with Haru.

_Finally, this is my chance._

He crawled in first and held up the sheets for the bigger boy, who turned his back on Haru as he lay down. Even though Haru knew that it was his fault, he couldn't stop the pang of hurt that washed over his body.

Makoto didn't even say goodnight. Haru lay in bed, eyes running up and down the broad back, silently hoping and praying that Makoto would turn around and do something. But he didn't. Nothing happened. And Haru didn't know how to apologise when things were like that.

"Makoto."

Haru held his breath as soon as the name slipped through his lips. There was no movement from the body beside his.

Reaching out to tug at the sleeping boy's shirt, Haru moved closer and closer, until he was pressed against Makoto's warm back. He sighed, wishing that he had said something earlier. It was a terrible feeling, to not be able to freely express himself using words. Makoto didn't even look into his eyes anymore – their main communication portal.

And right then, he was hit with an idea.

_I can practice._

Clearing his throat softly, Haru made his first attempt.

"Makoto. I-uh, I-I didn't mean to say that."

_That won't work._

"Makoto, I-I made a mistake and…"

_Nope._

"I'm sorry Makoto, I-I didn't mean it like that."

_Why is this so hard?!_

"I-I've never found you annoying, I'm sorry for messing up."

_Makoto wouldn't believe me._

Haru felt like punching a wall, or himself for that matter. This was going nowhere; his communication skills were almost non-existent.

_One more time._

"Thank you for everything, Makoto. You've always been helping me, you've always been here for me even though I don't deserve it. You've been the best friend I could have ever asked for, and yet, yet I m-messed up and pushed you away. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

His head was pounding, pent up frustration and disappointment in himself threatening to spill out. He was going to burst.

"Makoto, I can't live without you."

"Haru."

The raven gasped and sat up immediately. _Makoto was awake this entire time?_

"Haru, did you mean all that?"

Haru breathed in deeply and let out a huge sigh. He couldn't stop the fierce hammering of his heart.

"I-I did. I'm sorry Makoto. I really am."

Makoto turned around, green eyes illuminating the dark room.

"Will you forgive me?"

"Haru!"

Makoto pulled Haru into his arms, nuzzling his head into the raven's shoulder.

"Haru, I'm sorry too. I-I didn't mean to shun you like that. I-I just…I…"

"Makoto."

The brunet looked up into Haru's azure eyes, those deep blue orbs that he had missed so much now held a simple message.

_A life without Makoto isn't worth living after all._


End file.
